Tuesday, April 19, 2011

You've waited 364 days, now show how 420 friendly you are and out chill them all!

It's 420 eve right now and I'm feeling particularly festive for the upcoming celebration to take place. For decades this one holiday has brought together respectable people from all walks of life. Long boarders, mushroom drawing artists, alternative nerds, collectors of wizard memorabilia, and if you live in boulder Colorado then your parents will be right along side of you taking that hit for freedom. I mean, you get high everyday anyway but this is 420 man, show the whole world that the weed smokers can have a holiday that's as/if not more second hand embarrassing then the drunks with saint Patrick's day. Now grab your pipes and hookahs and gas masks, put on something comfortable and read these five tips on making your 420 the first one to remember.

1. Dress accordingly: Theres gonna be allot of stoners out there tomorrow so your gonna need to really step up your game in the dressing department to really impress your fellow dankers. Hats need be festive, whether that be rasta colored dread bags or weed leaf print visors you need to let people know where you priorities are...and where the budz at. A safe call for shirts would be going political, a hope Obama tee, the classic Che or the Buck Fush stand by. I wouldn't recommend pants, but if you have no other choice then go extremely baggy and preferably with patch work on them. My obvious choice would be the cargo short with it's relaxed fit and abundance of pockets you ll be good to stash hella paraphernalia and really show everyone the variety in your pipe department, because hey we both know one measly pipe ain't enough, jah know what I'm sayin?

2. Get enough rest the night prior: You don't wanna end up oversleeping you're holiday away and every minute waisted is a minute you could have spent high, or talking about getting or being high. I've seen too many fellow pot enthusiasts fall victim to being sleepy from the night before and can't handle the immense amount of chilling that can take place on 420. If your still tired after you wake n bake then simply just do more drugs or mix drugs. Dude, it's four twan...you won't get hurt trust me, I'm a Dr...Dr. Feel good that is.

3. Try to remember: this is the day you've been training for all year now show off what you've learned. Gather all of your epic tales of smoking and what the outcome was. Remember, it's not about the quality of the story but the quantity of your stories. Mention how high you were, who else was baked and mention who was being a buzz kill. This is also a good time to get bonus points by sharing you theories on which cartoon characters you think smoke, teachers and bosses you suspect of being stoned and also blow smoke into your dog or cats face. Now you're pet has no choice but to be as irie as you.

4. Food: Probably one of the most crucial parts of the whole day, the munchies. Make sure you've borrowed enough money off you square pops to fully support your food fix today. Go big, order allot and mix foods. Try to head to holiday friendly restaurants like 'cheeba hut' to keep it local. I would recommend the footlong white widow, a special brownie with a large cotton mouth quencher as a starter. Also, make sure to mention how high you are or the cashier is just gonna think your some normal customer...get chill and let the giggles flow.

5. Do whatever you want: The most important tip I can give you is to disregard all common sense and well fare for anybody but yourself. Drive high, operate heavy machinery high, etc. Blast the bob marley out of your back pack with speakers while long boarding through traffic, pass out in fields, openly smoke out of your lizard pipe in public, flick off cops and other old people. It's a little known fact that it's actually illegal for a cop to arrest someone on 420 if they're having a good time. Watch weed themed movies, loiter on St. Marks, start a protest about 9/11 at union square.

However you spend your day tomorrow I hope you keep it green, go hydro, don't catch an edge and keep it chill.
One love,
FHQZ

Friday, April 15, 2011

Makeing it in NYC: The kings of the food court.

You know how the song goes, if you can make it here then you can make it anywhere. I have been living here for while now and I can honestly say that I have not made it here and chances are I may not make it anywhere. The same cannot be said for a couple of guys that I know who seem to have it all out here in the big apple. Rich and Canyon Duff have skyrocketed off the charts as of late and I want to take a closer look at what it might be like to live like these two celebs amongst friends that I used to know.

Let's start things off with where these two work...the 9th street espresso at the prestigious Chelsea market. I know what your thinking, what's the big deal? Don't they just pour coffee at the food court of the worlds most pretentious mall? You'd be dead wrong...the Chelsea market is full of C list celebrities, the mid wests wealthiest single mothers and even Europeans! All of the other boutiques in the mall gather around 9th street to get there java fix, from the nice people at the organic sock stand to the chefs at the lobster on a stick Boothe. And 9th street espresso's got prim real estate in the mall conveniently located across from the fountain and to the left of the bathroom. That's not all, for just a few dollars more per cup you can have a real life zany New Yorker pouring your coffee. It could be an artist, a part time lesbian or even someone with dyed hair...pretty wild stuff. Oh, and if your wondering about how the coffee is then hear it from the source: "Dis be da best coffee in the funking world"-Canyon Castator, coffee/espresso scientist, "The coffee is like...drinking wood"-Rich Duff, barista genius.

And it only gets more decadent after work lets out. Going to bars that have no name or require a password to get in, buying sweaters, talking about coffee, going to Serena's, painting yourself naked, hanging at work on your free time, eye rolling or just funking around town. The key to making it in this town is to keep things exclusive, you don't need to have all your friends around you to have a good time because you'll be making new friends in no time, and they're obscure ironic joke references are real side splitters...just make sure they don't rip the denim shirt.

Do you like what you hear? I know I do and I can't wait till I can land the job of a life time. It's hard to comprehend for most, and seems like a pipe dream to me but maybe I'm not cut out to be a NYC superstar. For now I'm just gonna keep reaching for the stars and maybe I'll be in a cool mall too, I'll just keep pedaling out snowboards for now.