I haven't posted anything in about a month, in which I've been doing other awesome things like getting all types of laid by one chick and drinking myself to sleep while a bootleg copy of "funny people" plays annoyingly in the background, don't see it because funny people sucks. It's not even funny, which is a total contradiction to the title, I mean the fucking nerve of Jud Apatow to pull off the romantic/heartfelt/andam sandler impersonations comeback...I'm getting off topic here, I'm here to review a meta skate video, not some piece of shit. Anywho, I haven't had Internet access in a while when all of a sudden I see a little gem called "turd merchants of death". Now besides living on the opposite side of the country, i feel inclined to follow the skate scene of a town I used to live in.
The basic plot: Seeing as I only have access to the commercial and not the actual video, here's what I've gathered is going on in the film. Longmonster Dan, Creepy jake and the dude my best friend buys coke from are all running away from a group of pearl street legends turned zombies, in order to skate the boulder ditch with Brian Ball. I'm assuming that other characters will be thrown in the mix such as the Red head dude with half of a thumb, Niel thurman and that one chill longboarder who gets a 15% homie discount at the shop just for being down for sector nine and bong hits.
Much like Halloween, this movie is
scary stuff.
Meta's past video projects will be hard to beat, with titles including "motherly love" and "hoagies and Grinders" is just the tip of the ice burg, and of course the infamous 98%, a meta side project, who's videos speak volumes amongst the alternative crowd that hung out near the creek smoking cigs at my high school.
A scene taken from Meta's
"Recess", a truly hard video
to top.
Admission should be anywhere from 5 dollars to saying you "have a trick in the homies section", which I strongly recommend you do if you live in the Colorado area because chances are you probably do have a trick in the video without actually knowing about it. So pack a van in with you drunken friends, pick up a few tweenage girls you see walking around the hill looking for glow sticks, and if your little jake then bring you mom to what I'm hoping, nay, declaring to be the biggest box office sensation to come out of the campus area in months! Beers will be smashed, fights will be started, and I'm willing to put up a wager that a couple of "free squeeks" will be thrown into the mix.
Less of a picture and more of a shrine to an area
of Boulder that meta's gathered so much of it's
inspiration for in its upcoming film.
7 stars, 3 stars were lost due to that Todd kid being in the movie as the mechanic...I'm only assuming Kris with a Clay's old shoes would have been more then willing to do it...
-Captain FHQZ
