"I'm gonna show up"

In what has become sort of trade mark of mine, I quit my job the other day with nothing lined up after it. No prospects, no leads, no friends to recommend me for another job...no friends at all really. When I put in my two weeks notice and walked out of the stock room I felt so empowered until I opened the door and walked out of the store, opened my wallet only to see 15 Colorado IDs I had collected from friends, an expired metro card and a coupon for a restaurant that I'm pretty sure went out of business more then 4 years ago and I realized...I am completely fucked. Later that week I began working through my last two weeks with a new perspective on work that I had never realized, the less you do the better you look.

I came in about thirty minutes late every day, and when I did finally get to work I procrastinated as long as possible. I made small talk with my supervisor, I drew allover the walls of the stock room and I hunted flies downstairs in my socks. In a forty hour work week I think I worked about 2 1/2 hours tops. Every person I worked with was not only impressed by my change of attitude, but insisted I revoke my two weeks notice and stay with the team. These people hated me three days ago, but when I got a "joose" malted beverage at Duane reed across the street and fell asleep under the jackets section of the stock room they all thought it was hilarious and couldn't imagine working without my new "antics". Even my manager took notice of me and asked if I would stay longer, not because I'm a hard worker but she said "you're pretty funny, the first month I didn't even think you knew how to speak English cause you didn't talk and I thought you were gonna shoot the store up".

People at my work got wind of me leaving and came up to me to ask about it. As time went by and my two weeks were winding down, I realized that these two weeks were the best I'd had here in the year I worked there. One of my bosses even asked me to stay a little longer cause she knew I had no back up job, and I accepted. My main boss walked in shortly after and asked when my last day was and asked if I liked cake, this may be a little confusing to some but at my work we have about 6 managers looking over us at all times because were all completely retarded, and I replied "it was gonna be tomorrow but now I'm not sure". Time went on and on what was supposed to be my last day, I called out.

The next day, I came into work thinking nothing of it. I did my usual routine of zoning out for a few hours and avoiding real work until I saw a manager looking at me like I was a ghost. Then I realized, everyone was looking at me like a ghost. People were looking at me and whispering "is that POWERS"? I was confused...until someone told me about the party they had for me the day before. The main boss of my department had bought me an ice cream fudgy the whale cake the day I didn't show up with personalized icing reading "goodbye and good luck Seth, we will all miss you"!!! Luckily, the boss wasn't there the whole day and I was stuck wondering if I still work here or am I just here and not welcome? I work tomorrow at 7am and I decided I'm just gonna show up and see what happens, I mean hopefully this guy doesn't take me quitting and not showing up to my own farewell party and then showing up to work after my last day seriously, right?