Restaurant review: eating is easy

After a few meeting's with the men from the previous post, I left with a bad taste in my mouth. So I decided to catch a bite to eat and review it for your reading pleasure. I dined in at the world celebrated Halal food cart located in the heart of the city, Broadway and Broome. For those of you currently living outside of the NYC area, this post will make little sense to you and probably annoy you, for those of you living in NYC it will still probably bother you.

Upon approaching the cart I noticed two things, one being that all I could smell was this food and urine since I got off the train 6 blocks earlier, and that the cart itself was surrounded by a puddle of what I assume to be urine, I'm guessing this was just a coincidence. "Hi" I said with excitement, "what's on the menu today"? "Look sign" he replied in between breathing out of a cigarette covered some sort of yellow sauce. So following the chefs orders I browsed the "look sign" he spoke of. "I think I'll have the gyro" I said with hesitation after seeing how Delicious all the food looked that had been sitting on the grill for at least 97 hours which really gave it time to marinate in it's own stagnate juices. "Is that lamb or chicken" I asked pointing at the grill. "Zat is Za Salad" he said sweating a little too much for comfort considering it was 30 degrees outside. "hmmmmm" I pondered, "well I guess I'll have the lamb". So He began chopping up what I had thought was a rubber matt and pressing it against the grill. He wore one stained ripped glove, which he pressed against my food after wiping his sweaty face every five seconds, which was a relief because I would have been a bit worried if he wasn't wearing glove.

The glove like this bloody glove, but way way

worse.

4 cigarettes later, he had poured white sauce and red stuff on it and wrapped it in news paper. The gyro was ready to consume, but not before he touched some more of my food with his glove, or what remained of the glove. "oh, ha thanks it smells...allot" I was also starting to sweat at this point. The gyro looked pretty good, I was hungry and even though I had never eaten cooked food that was pulsating in my hands I have it a go. The first bite honestly amazed me. How could something that has such a strong odor have no taste at all, it was like eating a sponge after it scrubbed a curry covered toilet, so it was pretty good. I was also impressed on how quickly the gyro went through my system and had me sprinting to the starbucks bathroom and treating the toilet like an Iraqi prisoner of war, interrogating it for answers that it just could not answer...or flush. So, leaving pale and having murdered and tortured the Innocent porcelain bystander I felt pretty good for only spending $3.00 on lunch.

Rest in peace buddy, rest in peace.

I give it four stars, one star for the quality of the food, 2 for the price, and one star for the worlds most recycled glove.