I'm king of the world!

I would like to start off this post by saying that I do not consider myself a liar. I think that I was born with a special gift of storytelling, and when reminiscing about certain events they may seem at times a bit embellished. I guess I got this gift from my late father who was the best storyteller I've ever met. Growing up, I would love listening to his stories and be so fascinated with the idea that in my dads world there really was no distinction between reality and fantasy and anything can, and in the story would, happen. So, here is the first of "my dad's stories and ideas that can't believe actually happened".

"The titanic horse"

Before I begin this story I want to point out that up until I re told this story to a friend the other night did I realize how absurd this whole situation actually was and even more ridiculous is that I totally bought the whole thing up until yesterday. My dad was a pack rat, and in true pack rat fashion his home away from home was the salvation army. Convinced this is how were gonna get rich, my dad would buy everything from old pezz dispensers to ashtrays, vintage toilet seat covers, mannequins, rollerskates, exercise equipment etc. This is around the time that ebay first came out, so he really went all in on buying a bunch of shit that we didn't want/need/know existed. I'm pretty sure the whole time of this ebay fiasco which lasted up until the day he passed he only made like $48.50. Though it was super embarrassing being the family with a lawn covered in junk, it kept my mom pissed enough to not notice the terrible stuff my brother and I were doing, like lighting random fires and killing skunks.

So, one day my dad comes home with the find of a lifetime. It was a statue of some kind covered in sand that he bought at salvation army it smelled like "the ocean". This thing was left to soak in a cooler full bleach/water/broken dreams for about I don't know, like a year before the sand began to fall off. What was starting to become visible was that this was indeed a sculpture of a glass horse. This meant of course that this was a relic from the titanic. How he landed on that theory was beyond me, until I realized that my dad smoked allot of weed when I was growing up. One day, my brother was sneaking to the closet to get "something", I say something like that because until this day I don't think he'd admit that he was getting this old comic book that my dad had called the "peep show" with 3d images of ladies in bras, yeah, it was pretty awesome. So, reaching for the vintage hogan magazine, my brother knocked the cooler and broke the legs off the horse. My brother knew that he was fucked, my dad hadn't stopped talking about this god damn horse since he found it, I mean he would bring friends over to smoke weed and then stare at this amazing horse.

Heartbroken, my dad tried desperately to fix his white whale, but alas it was gone. My dad never forgave me nor my brother for the horse incident and anytime we would need money he would say "well if you didn't break the horse" or "you know how many pizza rolls the horse was worth" or "god, I loved that horse". According to him, my college fund was broken in that cooler. My dad was shattered man, that was until he bought a warehouse full of expired all sports soft drinks, star bucks mocha's and a hover craft at a blind auction on my birthday, but that's a different story.