A Clay date, a pretty great date

Now I've been on what I consider to be allot of dates with Clay, and I've cherished them deeply. But Clay has grown up, and has hit the town with some ladies apparently. So if your sick and pathetic like me and you lay in bed at 3 am thinking of what it's like for a girl to go on a date with Clay then your in luck because I am that pathetic. "Everyday from now on your only gonna get fatter and hairier, I had the fattest hairiest day of my life today"-Yabo, that one quote sums up me writing this post entirely, just a bitter fat man covered ii ass hair who's envious of a hairless hunk. Here it is, a NYC night with a Korean socialite

Knowing Clay he is probably gonna take a girl out to the worst, embarrassing hip and expensive bar that the city can puke up. This bar is ideal because a)it has vanity mirrors ideal for steeze checking your 3 haired moustache B) great way to give a girl even more incentive to take a quirky myspace photo, or wait is anybody on myspace anymore? Icelounge or myberrics photo then.

"The second she lifts her butt cheeks off my

penis I'm tweeting"

things seem to be moving a bit too quick for our bachelors taste, so he breaks out an old stand by...get "wierd". This not only lets her know your an artist but it's a perfect opportunity for her to take more photos of herself and immortalize you through an image of a series of images ten pages long of tagged photos on facebook of other guys at other bars. And besides, who doesn't love tagging.

one wild and crazy night,rebel rebel

A true man of passion and courage, Clay takes a calculated risk...conversing with the woman. Now your guess is as good as mine on what could have been discussed in the picture below, from corn conspiracies to hamburger grease paintings one thing is for sure the sound of her vagina clamping shut is echoing throughout the bar. He should be talking about shopping or oral sex, something women can relate too. I may or may not have used that line from a movie, If I didn't then I'm way funnier then my mom and friends think...just throwing it out there that I'm not sure.

If only there a was an app for this situation...

No matter the context of this next photo I can't get around the harshness. What's worse, a girl pretending to puke into her purse to the camera while your not looking or a girl actually doing it?Truly a brain buster.

ouch

I'm only assuming this guy did not help

the situation...

So, with a forty five dollar bar tab and a half a chubby nestled in his white Capri's, Clay calls it a night. No luck this time, but this was only a scrimage and the big game is coming up anytime now. All he's gotta do is increase his offense, lay off the dot com talk and his spirits up.

all this and more can be yours ladies, all this

and more.

I for one would love to go home from the bar wasted sitting on the back of that stallion.