Product Review: Clay Kessack's friendship

When I first got this product in my life, I would have given it five stars with a life time warranty of Laughs, good times, and lots of pillow talk. But ever since they started selling these items in NYC, my beloved Clay has had major deffects. Here's a few things that I've pin pointed so maybe you can contact your local manufacturer about your Clay Kessack.

1. Shortly after I got my Clay Kessack I noticed it had a need to start tagging all of the sudden. In the manuel though, it stated "your Kessack may adapt to new trends and gimmicks that become popular at time of purchase", so naturally I just let it slide. When I brought my kessack to NY however I was unaware that it would start "beat boxing". This concerned me...

Kessack acting out in the form of "beat boxing"

2. My Clay has been disobediant in other areas too. When I took my Clay out for a fun packed day of joy in Williamsburg, which normally he would love with the thrift and toy stores and all, he refused taking a playfull Myspace.com photo with me. This had me concerned, seeing as I wanted to show this photo off to my 246 online friends....do you think they want to see this?

Right when I clicked the capture button on my camera phone, My Clay covered his face! : (

3. I was excited to take the Colorado based product to a local skate spot, but when we arrived there he seemed irritable and adjitated. What followed was the Kessack snaked me on a front board, this had me very very upset as you can tell by my hand gestures in the photo below.

I couldn't believe my eyes

4. I looked through the manuel about 3 times and came across nothing coming close to my next problem with the Kessack, the sudden name change. I've been calling my product "Clay Kessack" for years now and then out of the blue he starts referring to himself as "the Clay pie". I specifically told the salesman I wanted nothing to do with a product that refers to himself in the third pastry.

You can let the "Clay pie" sit on the window sill for as long as you like, but this pie is still gonna have a piping hot attitude while joining you for a stroll through the park.

5. I like my purchased chums to have a low maintance factor, but since the move to NYC my Clay has needed major accesories purchases. From loafers to anklets, the Clay has cost me a pretty penny in these hard times.

Clay sporting a costly set of italian dress shoes that he demanded from me. "I don't wear skate shoes out to the bar". This cost me to sacrafice multiple personal possesions, one being my magic set.

6.The last straw. A couple nights ago all the malfunctions culminated into my precious Clay ditching me for another. I begged and pleaded, but at the end I had to act like an adult and wish my Clay the best. I think I did the more mature thing.

Though I was deeply saddened, I had to let the Clay know that he's welcome back anytime and that he holds a place in my heart. I waved him off and he was on his way.